* colored the carpet downstairs with a marker
* tried to eat Tylenol and a whole bottle of vitamins (instead of swallowing he licks them and then throws them onto the floor where they stick)
* dumped toothpaste and tooth brushes into the running washing machine
* tried to dump soapy water and a whole bottle of vanilla into the wedding cake batter I was making (it was like SERIOUSLY close!!)
* dumped cereal all over the living room carpet
* dug his hands into the flour container and smeared it all over the kitchen cabinets
* learned to open the front door leading him to walk outside (twice while I was using the bathroom)
* stood or sat on the computer keyboard multiple times
* thrown multiple items of food onto the floor from his high chair
* learned to push chairs up to the knives drawer and pull them all out
* picked multiple things out of the garbage and tried to eat or use them
* tried to stuff a plastic rod into the pilot light of the furnace
* either been up for 2-2/5 hours in the night OR been up at at least 630am
* drawn on his high chair, the table and the floor
* dumped goldfish on the floor and then stomped on them to make crumbs on purpose
* phoned people on my cell phone
* pulled out a LOT of wipes and “wiped” his nose or sucked the “juice” off them

Seriously people, CAN you SEE my gray hair yet???? Cause this child is giving them to me!!!! And we aren’t even into the terrible twos yet? YIKES. WHAT a ball of TROUBLE he is!!!