Lessons in Motherhood: Assume the Good

assumethegood

Every summer I put my kids into swimming lessons. I’m not a great swimmer (I’m actually quite scared of deep water and drowning.) I want my kids to be safer and better at it than me. So I put them in every year and hope that they’ll be better at it than me. The more kids we have had, the more time it takes. But I think it’s worth it. Tutelage like Private swimming thornhill lessons are invaluable in the long run; you never know when these swimming skills will become the difference between life and… well, it’s not worth thinking about! Last year it was difficult in the fact that Norah was quite small and Oliver wanted to get into the water too. So a lot of the time was me chasing him with a baby. In the past my other kids have also handled swimming lessons quite differently. For his first year Eli literally clung to the teacher. I don’t know if he was actually scared or if he was just doing that. Sometimes with him it’s hard to know. So the next year we debated even putting him in. But then again I want my kids to learn to swim, so we did it.

One of the days I was sitting on the sides with both littles and I looked over to check on Eli in his swimming class. And I saw him far away from the teacher, almost hiding. I immediately got up (carrying Norah) and went over and told him to get back to his teacher and listen. He stopped and looked up at me with sad eyes and said “Mom, we are playing hide and seek and I’m hiding.” I said sorry to him and the teacher and went and sat back down. I felt foolish.

I had assumed he was misbehaving. Too often I assume that’s what’s happening with him. I assume he’s the one who’s caused the problem or made the mess or started the fight or been disobedient. It was my lesson that day. Assume the good.

Do you give your kids the benefit of the doubt? I definitely think that we can swing to far the other way and think our kids can never do anything wrong. In my mind that is just as harmful. All of our kids can do bad things. My mom likes to joke that you should never say “My child will never….” because that’s just asking for your child to do that 😉 As parents we need to accept that our children do make bad choices, but we need to hope and expect them to make good choices.

Children live up to what you believe of them.

In a world that will fight against our kids, they need us to be our their side. I remember knowing my parents would go to bat for me whenever I was in a situation where I needed help. But I also knew just as strongly that when I did wrong they expected me to fix it and I knew what was expected of me. I knew where the boundaries were but I knew I could fall back on a safe place where I was always loved and supported. Really that is how Heavenly Father takes care of us too. No matter our terrible choices or what we have chosen, He loves us unconditionally and sees our true potential that we sometimes miss seeing. I am sure He is disappointed when we make bad choices but those wrong decisions never affect the level of His love for us. The perfect model for our own parenting.

So with an open mind and heart, let’s assume the good of these lovely little people we have in our homes.

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4 thoughts on “Lessons in Motherhood: Assume the Good

  1. Love this! It’s such an important attitude to learn– and not just with our kids! Dr. Neufeld phrases it as “Assume good intentions”. I know my intentions are usually good, but I still forget or mess up. I appreciate that Heavenly Father knows the desires of my heart and always loves me and wants to help me.

  2. So true – I try to apply this to adults as well.
    It’s ok to feel foolish every once in a while. Those are usually the times that we learn the most important lessons.
    Thanks for sharing!

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