Another Lesson in Motherhood from a fabulous mother I know named Laura. Laura and I met when she moved into our neighborhood and we met each other. She’s move away from my neighborhood but we still get to see each other every once in a while and I am grateful.
I found myself with a few spare moments to sit down and check out some things on the computer when I realized a good friend has sent me a message. She was making a simple request of me. Would I jot down a few thoughts on what the years of motherhood had taught me? She would like to share this as part of her blog. Being a good friend to me, in fact one of the few people who welcomed me when I was a stranger, I could not say ‘no’ and so despite a crazy schedule I replied that I would. Then it began ‘What would I write? Would others be interested in my thoughts? What could I really say on such a vast topic?’ in time my voice came and I began to write…
My Thoughts on Motherhood
- Children are a Gift. As any woman who has struggled with infertility will tell you, children don’t just come when you want them. They are not some commodity you can pick up at the grocery store… they are gift given in love from Love itself and meant to be raised in love.
After our first child was born, my husband and I did battle with 3 years of infertility. It ravaged my body and filled my mind with doubts about ever fulfilling the dreams I had for the family we had begun. It created tensions where there were none before, it medicalized what was supposed to be natural and it left me high and dry. The only recourse I had was to pour all my love and efforts into the one chid we were blessed with. Over the years I started to let go, I learned to be thankful instead of fretful, I even accepted our little family and appreciated the little unit we were. The pressure was off and I began to move forward. It was then that Love touched us again and we were blessed with two consecutive pregnancies. I discovered that children teach a quiet hopeful trust NOT a despairing grasp at our own desires. What a gift!
- Children speak the Truth. It wasn’t long after my first born learned to speak that I realized she was only capable of telling the truth, and nothing but the truth. To illustrate, here is an example from my personal life.
As a young lady I developed a full and voluptuous figure far earlier than any of my counterparts and needless to say this attracted much unsolicited attention. Rough interactions ensued from glances, to comments, to jealous fights and yes, unfortunately, even negative sexual encounters. Over the years these interactions caused within me a deep wound. I couldn’t see myself naked without thinking of these negative memories. I developed an aversion to my breasts, and would be disturbed at their sight. One day while coming out of the shower my full profile came into the mirrored view and as I stared, the memories of the past played in my head and a familiar disgust rose up and out loud I spoke these words, ‘they are so ugly’. I didn’t realize that my daughter was in the room watching and listening and the minute those words were spoken she stepped forward and said ‘I think your breasts beautiful’. You see, she had been nursed for over a year and new the comfort that nursing had brought to her little heart. She was a speaking total TRUTH and did see them as beautiful. Well my eyes filled with tears, and my heart broke as truth shattered its encasement and penetrated deeply. There was no way she’d lie and I decided to listen to that truth. The truth she knew first hand and was so capable of speaking!
- Children inspire us to follow our true self by modelling how it’s done. I’ll never forget the time my 6 year old daughter was propositioned by a stranger to accept a tattoo. She and I had previously discussed those fake tattoos that are often put in ‘loot bags’ of various sorts and had concluded that it was not for us because they mucked up our skin. So, on this day when a vender at a community trade show was pushing a tattoo into her hands, she promptly spoke up saying ‘no thank you’. Well this person didn’t understand and so he tried again, ‘but they are free and washable and fun, why won’t you take it?’ She spoke more resolutely ‘I do not want it’. This person went hysterical looking to us for help ‘surely she doesn’t know what she is talking about. Tattoos are fun, every kid likes tattoos’. My husband and I sided with our daughter and we walked on. Wouldn’t it be cool if we all could live in the freedom of following the law of our hearts and be respected for it? I think so, and children remind us of that.
- Children come for our good as well as theirs. I don’t believe it when people call children an ‘undesirable burden’ that parents just have to put up with until they are 18 years old. No, people who speak this way have either forgotten or never known the touch of little warm hands, or spontaneous words of love spoken from a genuine heart. Children make us better people by helping us to think less of ourselves and more about others. We become concerned citizens because now our children also live in this world. Children make us tender again they teach simplicity and ultimately will grow us into children once again if we let them do it. As my husband and I welcome our fourth child there has been nothing more gratifying and more fulfilling for us than to share the mutual task of growing our children. We are better for it!
Ok, so you’ve heard my thoughts, now what about you? What has motherhood taught you over the years and what would you share if you could? Happy reflecting…
Wasn’t that wonderful?? Laura and I have lots of things in common. We are both happily married and have kids who we love and care for. We both want our children to be faithful followers of Jesus Christ. We both stay at home to raise them and want the best for our kids. Laura and I also have some differences. She is a home schooler and I send my kids to public education. She is a Catholic and I am a Member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. She is pregnant and I am not I think lessons in motherhood can come from moms who are the same as you and the moms who are different from you – she’s both. I’m so grateful to Laura for sharing her heart so willing with me and all of you today. Love ya, Laura!
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