Dear Oliver,

Oliver at 3

You are the midst of the threes and wow, you are tough. When you are happy, you are so happy. Your smile can seriously light up the room. It is a full faced smile that just warms everyone who gets to see it. But when you are mad? Oh vey! Yesterday you screamed at Norah “I DONT WANT TO BE HAPPY.” We believed you. Some days I have tons of patience for your outburst. Lucy used to have them too, you know. She used to strip her clothes and scream and pee on herself and pull her own hair. It was shocking and I took it personally. Most of the time with you, I don’t take it personally but it still gets under my skin. More than anything I just have a hard time with the middle of the nights screaming fits that can wake up Norah. That I do take personally.

Oliver at 3

When you were born I just ate you up. I was in such a good place and I think enjoyed you so much. Everything you did, night feedings, fussy periods, Only-mom-will-do stage? Loved it. All of it.  And then all that got shaken up when I got pregnant with Norah and I was just so sick and you were still so small. That was tough but we did it. Sometimes I wonder if you feel gipped that Norah is around all the time.

Some days you are Norah are the best of friends. Most of the time really. You get into this play zone and you travel from room to room in the house, making messes and playing and it is so lovely to see. Some days you two have a bit of a hard time getting along.

Oliver at 3

Now you are three. Three and a half really. And I think all three year olds have a tough time. They are learning independence and trying to express it even more than before. It’s hard to be three. I get that. And I’m trying to be patient with your expressions and outbursts. We’ve started sending you to your room and you come back out and say “OK I’m ready to be happy.” It’s the least painful for everyone. And I think it’s important that you learn to deal with your emotions. It’s something we all have to learn to do.

You are freaky smart. You know all your letters, names and sounds and all your numbers up to 20. You especially love a couple apps on the iPad that teach the alphabet and spelling and you have learned most of them through that. Grandma Davis is pretty sure that if I worked with you I could get you to read. I have done a bit, but frankly I need you to get potty trained first. I have been trying lately but you get so mad about it all. And you don’t care that it feels gross. Just so you know, I hate potty training and that makes the whole thing harder. It would be kind of funny if you could read before you were potty trained.

Oliver at 3

You will only take chocolate. Like if someone offers you candy, you will not take it unless it is chocolate. You’ll respond with “I only take chocolate.” It’s pretty funny and at Halloween it means I get to eat everything else, so thanks. You still LOVE chicken nuggets and fries and you will ask for that daily if I give you the option. But only if there is LOTS of ketchup. (It’s practically a side dish for you!)

You still LOVE your cousin Sage. She’s kind of like a happy button for you. Most of the time she is around you are in a good mood. Lately you’ve realized that your other cousin Oscar is awesome too and you’ve started asking to play with “my friend Oscar.” The two of you play Paw Patrol and do lots of imaginary play together.

We love you Oliver. Even when you are screaming at us that “You just want to scream” or that “you hate being happy”. We love you and we’ll try out best to be patient. I hope you’ll do the same with us.

Love Mom.

Just Rhonda Footer

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